


The Leaves Whisper, the Mind Screams

by Katey_Opalescent



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Connor's response to all emotions is just Tears, Fluff, Fluffy Angst, I wrote this in the notes on my phone, M/M, Minor Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Same Connor, connor has emotions, cut me some slack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 13:03:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15268092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katey_Opalescent/pseuds/Katey_Opalescent
Summary: “Con, how long have you been feeling like this?”Another sob wracks through his body, his face flushing a light cerulean blue as a result of it. “For so long.”- Connor is feeling a little lost in the world upon the Bureau dropping him after the successful revolution, and Hank is far too well acquainted with such a feeling.





	The Leaves Whisper, the Mind Screams

The trees whisper serenely with the wind, fluttering little words of encouragement through their sturdy branches, their leafed notes flitting downwards in a gentle spiral. Swaying with them is the bushes, pastel flower petals are pulled with the wind yet never torn from their stems; as if they had agreed harming one another would do neither of them any good. It’s strange. Calm being received as an emotion rather than a statistic was never something that was programmed into Connor’s systems- it was not the intent for his existence. To feel calm, a fuzzy sensation which clothes him substantially more than the borrowed oversized sweater wrapped around his shoulders ever could, was not a necessary function to obtain in the line of duty. For his mission. For what was once his mission, that is. 

 

Yet here he is. Seated on the edge of a faded wooden porch step which creaks underneath his weight, in a fenced in back yard, listening intently to the whispers of the trees. Keeping careful watch of a bounding Saint Bernard who seems caught up in his own little joyous world, while Connor exists in his own separate world. Calm, peaceful, they’re the only words which feel fitted to his current scenario. They perfectly wrap around the way the world’s rotation has stuttered into slow mode. Give definition to how his thoughts which were once abuzz with frantic liveliness have finally reduced to a gentle hum, allowing him this moment free of panic. Of worry. Of self searching and concern. 

 

There is no panicked spike nor shift from the gentle whirling blue to red upon hearing the backdoor open. Connor had already heard, and analyzed, the approaching footsteps- it was comfortingly familiar who they belonged to. Sumo practically fell over himself in excitement, stepping on his own paw and almost clumsily taking a dive in his rush to greet the additional guest. (Connor has to duck to the side so that he isn’t trampled in the large dog’s beeline path.) 

 

Chuckling gruffly yet heartily, Hank leans down and accepts the onslaught of excited puppy dog kisses and sniffs. He scratches and pets in return, adopting a higher tone to his voice, his ‘baby voice’ as Connor pointed out one evening. “Hello, Sumo. Who’s a good boy? You are! Best boy, hello pupper.” Connor has grown tired of correcting his false English, Hank always looks at him in mock annoyance before saying the word twice as slow and with significantly more emphasis on the ‘er’. Pupper. 

 

Connor adjusts his sitting position so he’s resting his back against the top post of the porch steps, able to finally look over at  the sweet display between Hank and Sumo. In the beginning, it was only Sumo who could make the years of trauma seemingly slip from the man’s once dulled eyes. Now, the android feels a sense of tingling pride whenever he accomplishes the same effect. It’s nice, to be someone’s love and light, someone’s hope. If his calculations are correct, which they always are, he’ll never tire of being the reason why Hank smiles or laughs so hard he’s bent over and wheezing as he tries to breathe through such immense joy. 

 

Hank eventually manages to wrestle the horse of a dog off of him and back into the yard, using the good ol’ technique of ‘see this pointless hunk of dying life called a stick? go get it!’. Connor has deduced that dogs are smart in their own rights, however they are gullible as all hell. (However, he loves and wants to protect all dogs in existence- Hank has told him before that such a goal is admirable, but their home is already filled to the brim with ‘one fluffy asshole’- two seems to be out of the question. This will not stop him from feeding the stray Yorkshire Terrier which resides underneath the front porch.)

 

With the previous distraction gone, Hank directs his beaming smile over to Connor. A smile so lively and loving, Connor swears his thirium pump stopped working momentarily as his mind attempted to process something so wonderful. Given the teasing grin the human’s smile morphs into, along with the heat that has flushed across the android’s cheeks, Connor feels he can correctly assume he’s blushing. Damn whoever at CyberLife gave his systems the capability of doing something so useless yet so humanly amazing. 

 

“Well, what the hell is someone as cute as you doing in an ol’ rundown place like this?” The smile never leaves the man’s face as he takes a couple strides over before taking a seat directly in front of the android, crossing his legs in a way that Connor can’t help but find  _so fucking cute_. Hank must have been home for a few minutes as his hair is pulled back in a bun, a few strands of loose silvery hair framing the side of his face, accentuating the rise of his cheeky grin. 

 

Humming softly, a gentle smile playing on his own lips, Connor leans forwards in mock thought, resting his chin on his hand but never allowing his gaze to leave Hank. “I’ve wondered that from time to time myself, Lieutenant.”

 

“Oh you absolute asshole!” Hank bubbles out, surprised laughter catching in his throat, leaving him to express what he’s feeling through a playful smack to Connor’s knee. “I swear you only call me that to piss me off, I’m going to delete that word from your little dictionary one of these days.”

 

“On the contrary,  _Lieutenant_ , I say it because given your vitals, I have come to the conclusion that you find it a bit nice that I call you it as a loving name rather than as a respected title. 

 

Shaking his head in disbelief, Hank mutters an amused ‘shit’ before speaking up, “You really are a know-it-all smart ass, you know that?” 

 

“If I’m a ‘know-it-all’ then I feel it’s safe to assume that I would indeed already know such information, Hank.” Connor’s grin quirks up into a devilish smirk that just about has Hank’s jaw dropping. 

 

“Alright you little shit, damn,” Hank can’t help but snort, rubbing a calloused hand down his face, his grin evident underneath. “Seriously, though, you look... well I can’t tell if you look serene or troubled, to be quite honest. Sounds damn silly but, your way of expressing emotions is a bit difficult to catch onto. Still figuring you out, ya know?”

 

Connor did know, as he found humans horribly difficult when he first stepped into the bureau. There are many times he still cannot wholly understand the thoughts and actions of parts of humanity. For instance- Hank’s (fading) alcohol crutch, or how he stays up even when he’s sleepy, just to finish a movie he’s seen a dozen times before. Something about it doesn’t quite fit with the android. However, that seems to justly summarize humanity in its entirety- irrational, and sometimes a bit unjustified, but he supposes that’s what makes a human. He supposes that’s part of what makes himself alive as well. 

 

Humming, Connor fiddles with his fingers, a disappointed frown shadowing at the edge of his lips at his lack of a coin. Regret pings in the background of his systems at the realization that he’d left it inside, set on the far left corner of the coffee table, where he’d placed it when Sumo voiced very noisily his desire to be let outside. He always has to be moving in some way, something to keep him focused, to preoccupy his downtime. It can be frustrating at times, such as now, that his body and mind seem to depend on such small actions. 

 

Finally, feeling like he’s left the silence lingering heavy in the air for far too long, a heavy unneeded sigh inflates and deflates his chest dramatically. Casting a glance up from his fiddling hands to analyze Hank’s expression, a twinge of guilt stings him at the concern ever so clearly painted across the man’s features. “I-“ Frustrated, Connor scoots forward a bit, and Hank seems to understand as he unfolds his legs so that the younger man can rest in between them. Resting his forehead against Hank’s chest, the world begins feeling a bit smaller, less daunting, and he finds himself curling as small as he can possibly go. Warm arms wrapping around his back aid the feeling of being more minute than he actually is. 

 

“Sometimes, I feel so lost.” He finally murmurs, listening intently to Hank’s heart rate, to the almost silent breaths he takes. His LED begins whirring a violent shade of red, drastically overtaking the blue. “I understand the unwillingness to allow me to be a detective once again after all that has taken place- not a full understanding, but an understanding nonetheless. However, I fear that... my existence has grown quite purposeless, so to speak.” 

 

“Oh, Connor-“

 

“I just.” Connor squeezes his eyes shut tightly, almost violently, doing his absolute best to fend off any tears bubbling up. Another useless feature CyberLife granted him for integration into humanity- how wonderfully painful. “It is not only because it was in my programming, but I do genuinely enjoy being a detective. Being with  _you_. To have that taken away from me? To have my sole purpose, the meaning for my creation, slipped out from underneath me it-. What is my purpose? What am I doing here? What have I left to do? It’s so fucking hard to put into words, I-“ Connor chokes on the last of his sentence, a sob ripping painfully through his mechanical imitation of a throat. It shakes his entire body like one of the whispering leaves. 

 

Chest constricting in pain upon seeing the android in such a state, Hank pulls him impossibly closer, holds him tighter. The tips of his fingers grazing soothing circles into Connor’s back in a feeble attempt to comfort. “Oh, hun,” Hank kisses the top of his head, lips lingering for a moment before continuing. “Con, how long have you been feeling like this?”

 

Another sob wracks through his body, his face flushing a light cerulean blue as a result of it. “For  _so long_.” The broken whimper tugs mercilessly at the older man’s heartstrings. “I’ve felt so lost for so long, Hank. I don’t-“ Voice shuddering, he hiccups and frustratedly groans at how torn up he’s become, desperately wanting to pull himself together and pretend as though this never happened. “I can’t seem to recall the last time I felt like I knew what the hell I was doing. The department does not want me back, there is nothing left to clean, there are no groceries that need to be bought, Sumo is so used to being on his own during the day that he requires minimal care. I just stay here, _all day long_ , feeling so useless and so tired and so so lost.” 

 

Pulling back, Hank places one hand on Connor’s shoulders to keep him steadied, before cupping his cheek with the other, gently forcing him to meet his gaze. In a tone so soft it almost doesn’t feel real, Hank murmurs, “Connor, hun, why would you let this fester? Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” 

 

“I was so scared.” Connor leans into the warmth of Hank’s hand, savoring the feeling of being so close to someone who cares so deeply for him. Sniffling, his bottom lip still wobbles with the threat of more tears. “I’ve seen so many deviants self destruct, seen so many lose their way I didn’t- I was afraid I’d become like them. That I needed to just ditch the feeling altogether and move on. But it won’t leave me alone, and sometimes I feel so so empty because I’m here all day on my own and I just. All I want is for you to be there, or for me to have something. I didn’t want you feeling guilty, you have a job, a life, things you need to do that are far more important than babysitting some emotionally incompetent android.”

 

Heaving a tired sigh weighted down with the guilt of the world, Hank smiles apologetically. “Well, no wonder you’re so miserable, Con. No one with a sense of being can just keep themselves locked up in a house 24/7 with nothing but their thoughts a big ol’ dog to keep them company- that never ends up well. You can’t have just me in your life as the only person to ever keep you company, you’ve got to meet up with other people, go out and do things not because they need to be done but because you want to do them. I know it’s rough without a job at the agency, believe me I vouch for you whenever I possibly can, and I swear I’ve almost got them convinced. But for the time being, there’s nothing more that can be done, and you cannot sit here hoping and wishing that it eventually will. You’ve gotta find something else, work towards something else.”

 

“But who else would I even go to? Who is there for me to ‘meet up with’?”

 

Hank nods his head a bit back and forth in thought before responding, “What about that Markus guy? I know you two seemed pretty buddy buddy for a bit, what happened to him? And his, what is Simon to him again?” 

 

“Husband,” Connor murmurs half heartedly, frowning a bit. He’s beyond ecstatic for them, however it always leaves him a bit sad when he recalls that there is yet to be a law stating androids and humans can marry. Leaves a bit of a bad taste in his mouth, not necessarily directed at Simon and Markus, more so at his wanting to have what they have.

 

“Yeah yeah, his husband. Why don’t you go hang out with them and everyone else in their group? Like, uh, that little murder bitch, she’s fuckin’ insane but she’s better than you being alone.”

 

“Her name is North,” Connor corrects, and Hank just shrugs it off with a playful grin. Sniffling once more, the android straightens his position a bit, his eyes closing as he leans further into Hank’s hand. “I can’t bother him, he’s always so busy. He’s got the whole legal side of the revolution thing going, and I- I’ve already done my part he doesn’t need me to stick around anymore.”

 

“Connor, it will never cease to amaze me how marvelously intelligent yet horribly ignorant you are.” Connor makes an offended noise in the back of his throat, eyes fluttering open with his brows furrowed . Chuckling, Hank rubs his thumb underneath Connor’s bottom lip and gently elaborates, “Con, this isn’t about you being  _needed_ , have you ever paused to consider that maybe they’d want to just hang out with you because they simply like being around you? Because you’re an incredible person, with a lovable personality that’s nice to hang around?” 

 

Which, oh, perhaps Connor is a bit silly. 

 

“Are you suggesting that I should,, hang out with Markus and his husband simply because they’d find my presence enjoyable?”

 

“Connor that’s exactly what I’m saying, that’s exactly what hanging out is! There’s simple joys in life, not everything needs a conclusion or some big problem which needs solving! Just because you helped in the revolution doesn’t mean you’ve run your course with them. If that was the case they would have gotten rid of, what’s her name again? North? She’s all genocide-y, they don’t have much need for her political input, do they?” Connor shakes his head in agreement, after all Hank is making a valid point here. “Alright then, why’s it gotta be different with you?”

 

LED spinning a thoughtful yellow, there’s a beat of silence before an uncertain reply, “I.. suppose there is no reason why it should be different for me.” 

 

“ _Exactly_.” Hank smiles warmly, and it glows in his eyes. Leaning forward, he kisses Connor’s forehead, before pulling back just enough to softly say, “Now. I want you to contact Markus as soon as you’re able, and I want you to see about getting out of this house, alright?” Suddenly exhausted, Connor hums in return with an agreeing nod of his head. “Good, I think it’ll help you greatly. Now, how about we head inside? I can make myself a quick dinner, and we can rest on the couch watching some cheesy stupid movie from my generation.” Connor already seems on board, but Hank can’t help but tack on a teasing, “Since you’ve got your little tasting upgrade as well, I figure it wouldn’t hurt to make a dessert for two as well, yeah?”

 

Deviancy sure has changed a lot. Connor not only cries in reaction to  _all_  of his emotions, whether it be anger or fear or sorrow, but now he’s got one of the biggest sweet-tooths known to man. It’s one of the most endearing things Hank thinks he’s ever encountered in his life. 

 

Beaming, Connor kisses the palm of Hank’s hand and excitedly goes to tug him up so they can get inside. “I’ll take that as a yes, then,” Hank laughs, letting himself be dragged up by the impatient android, however he pauses him before they can go inside. Before Connor can even voice his confusion, Hank pulls him into a sweet kiss, hands resting on the android’s smaller hips. When they pull apart, the giddy smile Connor was previously wearing has turned into something far more calming and gentle. “I love you,” Hank murmurs, keeping Connor held against his chest via the hold on his hips.

 

Giggling, Connor lolls his head to the side and smiles cutely. “I love you too. So much, Hank.” Sighing, a slight heaviness returns to his chest recalling what just took place. Voice nearly inaudible he continues, “Thank you for always being there for me. For being there for me now. And for offering something you know will make me feel better. It- you mean the world to me.” 

 

“Oh jeez,” Hank’s face flushes a scarlet red, his grip tightening a bit. “I’ll always be there for you Connor, just, please come to me sooner next time. I hate to see you so broken.”

 

“I promise.”

 

“Good.” He kisses him once more, first on the lips, then a second one on his forehead. “Now let’s head inside, yeah?” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

They can’t help but stand in each other’s arms without any intent on moving for another solid five minutes, entirely contented with simply existing in one another’s world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I haven't written in so long- haven't had the motivation nor the urge. However, I adore this ship, and I got a little tired of seeing so much smut in all the fics. So, I decided I'd contribute something other than PWP to it aha. Be the fluffy angst you want to see in the world, kids.


End file.
